i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I think I just sharted jello shots
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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