Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
