i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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