where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
