im having a threesome with these popsicles
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
