you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
