Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
