i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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