I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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