do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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