at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
