We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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