Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
