Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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