I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
