Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
