singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize