3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The best revenge is premature balding
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize