FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
