why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
