Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
