1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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