just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i drank out of a bidet.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize