90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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