Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
