well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
