something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
