Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
