How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Alive.
So much puke
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
