Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
