Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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