I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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