I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
