so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
