no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
