i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
