but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
