is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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