I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
