tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
