and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize