do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
