At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
