my soul wont recognize me after tonight
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
