Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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