So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
