Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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