I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
