Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
