this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
