He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
