i always forget guys have bellybuttons
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
