If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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