I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
