I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Less talking, more tequila
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
