Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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