i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
