Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
