i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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