Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
