some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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