party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You may now shotgun with the bride
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
