I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize