We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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