Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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