Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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