hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
