he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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