Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
