So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Randomize
