she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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