CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
