i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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