if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Hippo gnu deer
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
