He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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